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婉兒，如若可以，你仍做我的表妹，我依舊是你的兄長。這樣，誰都不會在誰的心裡，留下那麼沉痛的傷。
　　
鮮豔紅衣，方巾喜蓋。我身著嫁衣，步入花轎。那一刻，我什麼都完了，我只知道，表哥，從此我是你的妻。

我緊張地攥著手中的錦帕，心中，滿是欣喜，思緒不由得回到了曾經。我們花前月下，吟詩作對，那時我就想，表哥，等我及笄，我便要嫁給你。後來爹說，他曾和姑姑泛舟時定下娃娃親，那是我和你的婚事。

花轎漸漸停下，簾外嘈雜的人群聲和鞭炮聲早已幕天席地而來，然而我能聽到的，只有那很輕的一聲，“婉兒……”。那一聲，漾滿了喜悅，那一聲，使我緊張不安的心，歸於平靜。

姑姑將我迎下轎，朗聲道：“婉兒，以後可就陸家的媳婦了啊。”

我欣喜地點點頭，然後便覺一陣很淡的清香撲鼻而來，我知道，那時你的味道。

手中的錦帕，已被換成同心紅綢，而綢帶的那一端，是你。

心中盈著滿滿的幸福，恍惚中，婚禮，就這麼過去了。
　　
我在洞房中等你，不知過了幾個時辰，你終於回來了。身上有著淡淡的酒香，然而更多的卻是我熟悉的味道。

我緊張地攥著袖子，手心滿是汗水，心中惴惴不安。縱使我知道，那是你，是從小陪我走過風風雨雨的表哥，然而我還是緊張地難以自持。畢竟，我第一次出嫁，總有些女子的嬌羞。

我聽到你小聲對丫鬟們說了些什麼，然後整個洞房裡，就只剩下我們兩個。
　　
你走到我身前，似乎也很緊張。你輕輕地掀起我的蓋頭，我感覺到你在顫抖。我緊張地閉上眼睛，不敢看你，我爬看到你眼眸中的漣漪後，我會幸福的瘋掉。

驀地，一雙溫潤的手撫上我的額。 “婉兒，為何不看我？”
　　
你的聲音，更加擾亂了我的心。我緩緩睜開眼，你清亮的眸自映我的眼底。你面若冠玉的頰上，竟也浮了幾絲紅暈。我不由地“扑哧”笑出了聲。

你被我的笑，攪得有些無措，我坐在一旁，就這樣靜靜地看著這樣的你，方佛，我已擁有了全天下的幸福。

飲下合脀酒，你溫柔的將我抱上了床。
　　
那一夜，芙蓉帳暖，旖旎春宵。

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太多的時候，我都懼怕，懼怕很多東西，就像每次拿起電話，卻不敢撥通熟悉的號碼。以前總是很高興的，現在卻不是了。時間真的是個很傷人的東西，帶走了很多我們原以為會存在很久的東西，迅雷不及掩耳，在我還沒有任何心理準備的時候。

隔三差五的總有一個老人在耳邊說著一些熟悉的不熟悉的話語，在夢裡。然後，驚醒。慢慢淚流滿面。抓起電話，開了又合上，不知道要幹嘛。

一直在讀畢淑敏老師的書，最近看到《人生五樣》。畢老師總結自己人生最重要的五樣是水、陽光、空氣、鮮花和筆，一樣一樣丟掉之後，剩下了筆，或許是畢老師深愛著文學創作，筆下的東西可以讓老師心安，又或者畢老師以筆為伴，畢生離不了吧。

看完之後，突然很認真的思索了下，如果是我呢，我人生中最重要的五樣應該是什麼。我想應該是：親人、朋友、工作、溫馨的家、自己的快樂。或許我過於狂妄了，這一切的合併就是已經是一個美好的人生了。如果真的有，我希望他們都存在，而且一直存在，不要在我毫無防備時消失。

如果要依依劃掉相對不重要的，那應該是工作、快樂、家、朋友和親人。親人會是我生命中最最重要的內容，沒有他們我的人生是不會完美的。即使回家不會說很多話，但是看到他們的那一刻我已經心安了，即使不會時時把他們掛在嘴邊，但是電話那頭傳來的聲音已經使我眉開眼笑了，即使不能時時在一起，但是我知道的是他們會陪伴我的人生走過一段很長的路，這就已經夠了。只要知道他們健康的生活，只要……..

或許我真的是太妄想了。那麼多的假如不過是欺騙自己罷了，人生的如果、如果的人生都能實現，那麼就不會有那麼的的喜怒哀樂要去經歷了。

看爺爺越來越瘦小的身體躺在床上，我已經不奢求什麼了，一直以為挺好的，每次打電話回家，家裡都說挺好的，一切都好，安心學習就好。只是略略的感覺爺爺的聲音弱了些。

我總是在想，我們這樣奔波到底是為了什麼，年復一年，日復一日的在外面忙碌，可是回到家卻發現自己那麼珍視的人或者事就這樣慢慢的消逝，即使有個什麼，可是很多東西已經不在……

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回憶常常被我們有意或無意地誇大和美化，失卻了生活的本真面目，甚至不如一張死板僵化的黑白照，但畢竟曾經經歷過，有許多美好的東西不可抹殺。就在我打算走出辦公大廳的時候，又想起不知道什麼時候簽訂合同，於是又向另一邊的諮詢台走去。當時我的個人資料正拿在手上。就在我要開口的時候，那個辦公桌後面的女孩掃視了一下我的資料後突然驚喜的問道：“×××，是你啊？！”我先是一愣，心想她怎麼認識我，然後覺得自己很失禮，就趕緊答道：“是啊，請問您是？”她突然假裝生氣地說：“怎麼，才兩年不見，老同學就不認識了？”我這才趁機仔細打量了她一眼，才恍然大笑道：“怎麼回呢，呵呵…是你越長越漂亮，我一時不敢確定。”於是她也咯咯地笑起來。然後我們互問了對方的近況，才知道她現在在縣資助中心工作。

可事情真得完全如此嗎？有時那些我們原以為會永遠在一起，長久地相好的人卻往往出乎意料地漸行漸遠，終至分道揚鑣，從現實走向了虛幻的回憶。相反，一些原本沒有太過在意的人卻長久地記住了我們，從記憶走向了現實，在一次偶爾的相遇中也可以給你帶來久違的、湧自心底的溫暖，並感動不已。

原來，“經歷很純”，最終沉澱下來的才是恬淡如菊的人情，在萬物蕭瑟的時節帶來生氣和清香。 “回憶不真”，因為有太多的不能再擁有的美好，我們只能在記憶裡去追尋和緬懷，並一次又一次地被理想化，就如寒雪對春光的嚮往，沒有可以企及的腳步。

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清代乾隆進士、大詩人袁枚曾寫過一首象棋詩：“攏神觀棋有所思，分明楚漢兩軍持。非常歡喜非常惱，不著棋人總不知。”實際上，有些技癢的觀棋者也會“非常歡喜非常惱。”他們不願坐山觀虎鬥。這就好比看拳擊比賽，非常想上台幫弱者一拳，又怕被拳手擊中。只好作“動口君子”，宛若“救世主”在一邊勸導，恨不得有意念致動、催眠術或靈魂附體什麼的特異功能。

記得有一次去新華書店買書，我偶爾看見德國現代作家茨威格的短篇小說集《象棋的故事》，竟被夾在體育棋類書欄裡，真令人啼笑皆非。我不知這樣做是不是為了方便愛好文學的棋迷。

好像有人說過，人生如下棋。下棋與打牌不同，打牌更多靠運氣，你可能拿到好牌或差牌。下棋則兩方“棋”鼓相當，機會均等。你有我有。只看你如何運用Polo 恤。

我曾畫過一幅漫畫，畫中將棋盤裡的“將”和“帥”改為“名”和“利”。將“楚河漢界”改為“原則”。事實上，許多人的人生都在這種無形的棋盤里為追逐名利而角斗。

有這樣的一幅對聯：“天作棋盤星作子，誰人敢下？地當琵琶路當弦，哪個能彈？”這樣的棋，也許只有上帝或外星人能玩了。但如果“星球大戰”的策劃者也想下這樣的天棋，那就不好玩了。
　　
我下了中國象棋再下國際象棋，總覺得中國象棋有中國哲學的影子，而且還是一場正規戰爭的翻版，有炮火，有楚河漢界，還有與士兵保持一定距離的將帥，將帥在對角線構成的王城裡，運籌帷幄之中，決胜千里之外。軍制等級分明，規矩限制多。而國際象棋則自由得多，王和後都親自上前線，橫直斜都可以走，更像一場混戰。中國象棋棋子是在橫豎線交叉點上行走，點與線相連，更表明局部與全局是息息相關的。而國際象棋棋子是在格子裡行走的，每個“子民”有自己的個性空間。　

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In a circular released Sunday, the committee ordered local police to step up patrols of key areas and to timely solve disputes to maintain social stability and unity among different ethnic groups.

The committee urged a severe crackdown on theft, robbery, sabotage of relief supplies, and disruption of market order, to make quake survivors feel safe.

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       Then, a lot of people would rather choose utterly crushedly, unwilling to choose to turn round definitely. They know very well "  The good horse does not gaze on the old pasture "  Reason.

       The same reason, there is " only do a thing in all one’s life " ,There is " a road goes to black " …… Since the ideal is lofty and great, then this should wrap the chaste tree and cut the thorn all the way, advance bravely.

       But the injured is only oneself. –Sometimes injure and pay no attention to your terrible situation, or tenacious resolution. Then, before being injured, why did not you make another choice?

       That is, turn round. Frequently, turning round does not mean shrinking. Certainly this is compromising, but think about it, even if you go down all the way, has there been too much compromise on the way in this? Come from one’s own one, came from the environment, came from others ……

      Turn round, the way behind becomes the way of the front. Turn round, it is the way. The world suddenly sees the light, the blue sea blue sky everywhere!

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Sympathy

 Another ripe explanation way is calm, face various disasters calmly, in other words ironhearted. Our sympathy that the varied beggar is wearing away constantly in the street, know until when beginning I can face others’ tears speak and reveal one’s feelings already, it is so-called ripe that I can only brag about me grievedly.

Pleasant surprise

Know how long experience first ask pleasantly surprised mood no yet. Stand at the gate of your home telling you " hey " to that the pleasantly surprised most familiar picture of annotation explanatory note is not too the good friend who called on suddenly, give you a pleasant surprise "  . Now, busy here and in the city packed with the individual privacy, there is no such pleasantly surprised living space.

I will regard receiving the present suddenly as a kind of pleasant surprise too in the past, but this society was teaching me there is not this reason of free lunch all over the world everyday, so the careless pleasant surprise that I do not dare, I only know the suspicion of the intuition. We already more clearly there is good reason for it this ripe, we know how, analyze contingency and relation of certainty already, we know that there is not absolute contingency in the world, certainty always shows through the contingency. As we have already known that certainty on the back of contingency, everything, it is mysterious to lose, everything is no longer pleasantly surprised.   
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Innocent

To tell the truth, I like this innocent word very much in my consciousness. I think at all times if one has a kind of very potential innocence, that characteristic is really a kind of enticement, enticement fatal to the opposite sex. However, consciousness belongs to consciousness, reality is say one sentence you are very innocented, unexpectedly will think that fell too ashamed to show one’s face, because innocent following sneaking a sentence is inmature. So, afraid of being said inmaturely, we do not dare more innocent.

Move

Some sage said, not lacking the thing moved in life, but we lack and find eyes and soul moved. It is always easy to be move by a word of the lover or friend in the past, even only moved for an article and a film or TV play, move at the top of one’s voice and laugh, moving heartily and wailing, now, the movie & TV will only often bring my despising, it moves to be very few twinkling of an eye then. Fear, contact, see scene of mentioning off always in the past, in the face of part federation sad tears afford to flow, time pass by one year past one, friend pull out first pull out come, make a return journey, give other scene one scene one scene repeat apathetic already. Fear to see the scene off now, is not afraid of shedding tears, fear not to shed the tears, it thinks to be should grieved deep-rooted part, but everybody grieved scene that does not produce make people to be in severe pain furthermore. Slowly, everything make naturally, all devotion and naturally income of eyes. We no longer move.

Illusion

    From small and great to tell people can living among illusion regular always, because is beautiful in the world of illusion, and when walk out in the world of illusion, the psychological drop always makes people difficult to bear. But I want, say people that can have fantasies of happy, happy in very moment then in illusion at least. Remember, have fantasies of, could fall asleep always sleep in the past, lie in bed imagining people and thinging that wing liking pleased, the dream, will have more beautiful too. However, over these several years, I have often broken the wings of one’s own illusion unconsciously, whenever it have kinds of thought it is at illusion how how when,it is be boring to speak for another sound always, it is impossible, don’t be so blind as to think, then go to sleep gloomily. One that is with will it be one day one day such as age heavy, dare, mention own illusion to people more and more, the less dare to have fantasies of either oneself.

Satisfied
 
People’s desire has no limits, see the more things heard are, the more thing the ones that were wanted to get by oneself are. Want depend on stand,by want because it sit, want lie sit down, this human kinds of common fault, a pleasant one it speaks to be constant pursuit, in fact, but one discontented with. People live and live and turn into a wolf looking for the food forever gradually, it is understood fully by the wolf that we are more sad than the wolf, and we will never know fully, the pheasant under the claw has not eaten up yet, the eyes keep a close watch on the hare ahead. It understands to be until sky lark leave, chase people of eagle grieved in the sky shake hands, the final result can only be followed to fly away too by the sky lark in the hand. Contentment brings happiness.

 In fact, say we light emotion that go happy gradually most after all.

 Really! Nowadays I of it think when at yesterday’s what I did is very inmature, we were still growing up; Day I think when being different in I, we stop, grow up already with at yesterday nowadays.

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